By Dr. Rachel Greenberg

Our minds can be really wacky places that house endless, incessant streams of thoughts.  This chatter that occurs in our minds, if left unexamined, can have tremendous impact on our emotions and behaviors, and this invariably impacts how we show up in our lives at work, with our kids, with our clients, bosses, partners, dates, customer service people, fellow drivers and, perhaps most importantly, ourselves.

So many of us operate in our heads as though there isn’t something to be done about the things our minds tells us, the places they take us, and the stories they spin.  We become enmeshed with our thoughts; we think we ARE what happens in our minds.  We think our thoughts are who we are instead of occurrences happening within our mind. 

Sure, our minds are sacred places where important information lives.  But so are our bodies, and our spirits, and our guts.  AND, weird, unhelpful, fear-based narratives live in our minds too and that’s the stuff that if we don’t critically examine can really get in the way of the things we want and are most deserving and capable of.  If you don’t believe everything you think, you’re putting yourself in a far more productive position to forge forward in your life in the most meaningful and bold ways!  This is good, great, wonderful news!  We don’t have to believe everything that happens in our heads! Phew.  What a relief, eh?

Dictionary.com defines the mind as “the element of a person that enables them to be aware of the world and their experiences, to think, and to feel; the faculty of consciousness and thought.”   This is even better news!  Because it means that you can flex your mind’s ability to see itself objectively!  You can actually learn how to train your mind so you aren’t at its mercy, especially when it tells you totally loony (maybe even deranged?) absurdly ridiculous things.

This usually happens when we’re experiencing thoughts that are particularly anxious or depressive in their origin; thoughts that are fear-based or stemming from a place of insecurity or self-doubt are generally unhelpful at contributing to achievement of progress.  They’re even referred to as distortions in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.  Cognitive distortions are unhelpful patterns of thought that tend to happen automatically, and are inherently skewed in negative, unbalanced directions because of core beliefs the person has about themselves, their own sense of worth, their relationships, the world, etc.  Core beliefs are often deeply ingrained and entrenched, and formed early on in our lives in response to what we experienced and were taught (directly and indirectly).

CBT says that these occurrences of the mind are inherently distorted in their constructs and because of that, we can’t just believe them.  We shouldn’t just believe them.  Because just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s true. I am regularly working with people in treatment to get a bit more distance from the things they tell themselves that they automatically experience and believe to be true but so incredibly often are not.

So, what now?

You’re with me on the notion that you don’t want to believe everything you think, especially the mean, critical, outlandish fear-based stuff that keeps you limited or in a low place or in self-doubt or victimhood.

Well, so, now you start to notice some of the patterns of thoughts you have that maybe are automatically negative or worried, or are perseverating on what happened, or frantically trying to compute every single possible “What if?” regarding what may happen.

Working on your thought patterns doesn’t necessarily mean just ignoring thoughts that are solely negative and trying to think entirely positive, but it’s more an exercise in eliciting more balanced thoughts that are a truer reflection of what’s actually real.

You can begin to get really good at being more aware of thought patterns that aren’t serving you and are limiting you in your life for no good reason other than you’re implicitly believing them!  Cognitive distortions are winning and you’re letting them!   

You don’t have to let them.  Don’t let them.  Don’t believe everything you think.

Automatic thoughts are something you can get better at noticing yourself having, and you can start to begin to identify the ones that are particularly unhelpful or distorted. You can then begin to weigh the evidence to get a sense of how true the thought is. Just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s true, so becoming more aware of the automatic nature of the thoughts, and the types of patterns you tend to think in, can help you create more balanced thinking which elicits a more regulated emotional experience. It can really be soothing and grounding to get some distance, train that mind, and start to question the veracity of some of the totally unaccommodating content.

If you’re interested in getting more support with learning how to stop believing everything you think, reach out!  I’m available for in-person sessions if you’re in the bay area, or live video sessions and text-based treatment if you live in CA.