By Dr. Rachel

Let’s face the truth- you’re a gorgeous, bad-ass, brilliant goddess and because of that, dating apps should be a total breeze for you. But dating can be really hard!

It takes up time and energy, and if your dates turn out to be a series of total duds then it can be really easy to throw your hands up and say, “Forget this!”

But if you give up, then you’re going to find yourself still longing for that plus one, that phone call after work to fill in on how the day was, and that special person you can laugh with until you snort and lay around with shamelessly naked for hours.

Also, there may be a way that you’re not doing enough weeding out of duds before agreeing to the date itself. Mindfulness can help here. An earlier elimination process may help you suss out the guys who aren’t worth your time, and the mindful approaches listed below can help once you’re out with the ones who are.

It can be hard, but you don’t want to give up because you’re worthy of finding the greatest guy there is, and resilience is required to help get you to the bliss that can come from finding and being with your person. Your romantic dream. Your beloved partner who you may only find after swiping a few dozen or hundreds of times.

In order to find and keep love, you’ve got to put yourself out there. The more mindfully you do that, the better your odds of landing your stud.

Mindfulness can help you learn how to easily master dating apps. Want to know how?

Below are the 5 Ultimate Mindfulness Skills you’ll need to approach dating with an open heart and a resilient outlook.

#1:
Stay Present!

The rule of thumb to mindfulness is being aware of what’s happening for you in the moment. You want to stay present enough to really assess who this person is that you’re considering dating.

Staying present is a skill you can use when you’re swiping, messaging, and deciding on plans. It’ll help you better discern who’s worth your time, so that when you’re actually doing the dating, you can be sure that you’re going out with someone who seems solid enough to be deserving of your consideration.

#2:
Check in with yourself.

Mindfulness can help you stay in touch with what you’re really feeling and what your genuine reactions are to this guy. You know that vibe you got that there was something off about his struggle to secure a plan? Or that instinct you had that said, “Hmm, is it weird that it took him 2 entire days to text me after I gave him my number?” Check in with that.

Notice what sensations you’re experiencing in your body. Butterflies? Rapid heart rate? Blushed cheeks? Sweaty palms? Is he making you feel a bit weak in the knees? Are you giggling? Fidgeting? Playing with your hair excessively?

Just notice what you’re really experiencing in response to him, and trust whatever that’s telling you. Stay connected to yourself: it’ll help you find the balance between not getting too swept away but staying open enough to enjoy the delight that comes when you like someone new.

#3:
Don’t question your gut; it’s never wrong.

Call it your gut reaction, intuition, instinct, whatever that part of you is; do not question it. You want to learn to really trust yourself in the dating process.

Don’t ignore the signs. He’s going to show you who he is within the first few dates, so don’t ignore your instincts or the yellow and red flags! If something feels off it’s probably because there IS something off. Don’t ignore your gut and don’t ignore the early signs that this guy may not be so good. Even if he’s incredibly hot, really charming, and seemingly interested in you, if he disappears for days on end, provides inconsistent information, he endlessly bashes his ex, or speaks with an Australian accent even though he’s from a small town in CA, don’t ignore! If it feels icky or weird in an off way, then it is and he’s not your guy. And you deserve better.

#4:
Limit alcohol use.

I’m not saying don’t have fun, or don’t let loose at all. I’m saying that if you want to master dating apps, the only way that will happen is by not cloaking yourself in wine. Alcohol impairs your judgment and your rational thinking comes to a halt. Staying mindful of what’s happening in dating is impossible when booze takes you offline. This will help you stay present enough to determine if you even really like the guy or not.

Drink enough wine and you’ll probably think he’s the love of your life only to realize in your sobriety that he didn’t ask you one single question about yourself and interrupted you every time you tried to chime in.

Staying sober is another way of staying mindful in dating because there’s intention behind that decision. You’re saying, “I want to be clear here in this process because I know that’s what’s required to find my right match.”

5:
Stay authentic.

Be who you are unapologetically. Mindfulness can help you stay in touch with any impulse you may have to put on a front or hide your real thoughts or reactions. If you’re seriously dating to find your guy, showing up genuinely in who you are is required.

You can be aware of any impulse you have to shy away from that, and then bring it back to whatever you need to stay in the truth and beauty of who you are.

Because don’t forget, you’re the prize here. Your guy will be a total gem too, but stay mindful that you are inherently worthy of safe and fulfilling romantic love because you’re a powerhouse. All you have to do is stay authentic in who you are, know that that’s desirable and you’re lovable, and the rest will fall into place.

You can sign up for my Free E-Book, Dr. Rachel’s Free E-Book: Top 5 Strategies for Mindful Online Dating by visiting http://drrachellalan.com/free-e-book/

If you want to connect more with me, and get inspiration, daily tips and words of encouragement and empowerment, you can find me in on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/dr.rachellalan/ or Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/drrachelgreenberg/