How to cope with Kavanaugh feels like something important to consider. It’s been a tough couple of weeks for women in this country.

Kavanaugh’s confirmation felt like a gnarly kick to the gut for many of us. Women’s empowerment feels undermined in big and ugly ways. Another absurd and sour declaration of White male privilege and supremacy. Confirmation that we’re being led by a government that is struggling to show its humanity. A stark reminder that power is dangerous when it’s left unchecked, and that identification with the ego can lead to truly treacherous and violent places. 

It continues to hit a tender place in me. On the one hand, these shifts in collective consciousness feel exciting; the divine feminine rises and we are shedding old paradigms that keep us confined. That’s a truth.

Women’s voices are being heard now more than ever.

And, on the other hand, the assaults we continue to endure on both the macro and micro level don’t cease to feel infuriating, unbelievable, and painful. We, women and our male allies, feel these assaults to our bodies and minds. It hurts. It’s rage-inducing. It compels us to want to come together, raise our voices, share our stories, and say loudly with remarked clarity: This is not okay. It never was. We have come to know ourselves and no longer will we keep ourselves small and quiet to appease the masculine dominance.

It may not feel like it after Kavanaugh’s induction into the Supreme Court, but do be sure: the tides ARE shifting. 

Through it all, we need to take care of ourselves and each other. We need to understand how to honor our womanhood and everything that means. It’s indicated to nurture the wounds of our painful history, grieve the losses we endure today, and reignite our passion to continue to fight the good fight. We need to relentlessly and courageously assert we will no longer be minimized, abused, assaulted, stifled, dismissed, disempowered, oppressed, or underestimated. 

How to Cope:

1. Raise Your Voice: 

   The day Kavanaugh was confirmed, I was walking into a grocery store and a man I didn’t know honked the horn at me as I was walking in, as if to say hello.⁣⁣

   I turned back to see if I knew this person, realized I didn’t, and proceeded to walk in. Inside the store we encountered one another and he said, “I was trying to make your day.” I said, “You were trying to make your day, not mine!” And laughed it off. ⁣⁣

   ⁣⁣As I continued to get what I went for, I had this nagging feeling that I needed to express to him that he’s doing it wrong. That it isn’t charming to honk at a woman. That cat-calling is intrusive, offensive and gross. I felt like I needed to express the fact that he’s not making my or any other woman’s day by honking at her while she’s living the mundane moments of her life. ⁣⁣

   I went back to find him, and said: “You know, today especially, as a woman in this country you’re not making my day by honking at me.” He stayed open and curious, and seemed genuine about not realizing it was the best way to express attraction (an offense in and of itself). He asked about what would have been better and seemed to appreciate the answer. Although it’s infuriating and painful that this is the culture we’re needing to shift, I felt good standing up for myself and all of my sisters in this way.⁣⁣

   ⁣⁣The divine feminine is in ascension. It’s upsetting our government isn’t caught up yet, AND we are still more powerful and alive than ever before. ⁣⁣

   On the micro level, you can find your voice. If it feels safe to, speak up when you’re offended or feeling intruded upon. Collective shifts happen through individual consciousness. 

2. Share Your Pain: 

   Express yourself and the impact of it all. You are not alone, and being able to speak what’s on your heart really helps. I shared the story I mentioned above both on my instagram and at my Sunday night sangha, and it felt empowering. Several women came up afterwards to thank me for it, which left me feeling seen, validated, and like I wasn’t alone. 

3. Find Conscious Communities:

   If you feel powerless or helpless when it comes to these issues consider exploring local advocacy groups. Find a women’s circle. Join an online forum. There are safe places abound where people are coming together to have critical conversations about how to elicit sustained social change. It’ll likely feel good to know you’re not alone. It can help to know that there’s something clear you can do about the issue. Talking about it honestly and openly is a powerful starting point. 

4. Take a Break:

   All of it can get overwhelming. If you spend too much time focusing on it, it can lead to a flooded emotional state, or re-traumatization. It can trigger emotional dysregulation. Take a break when you feel yourself hitting your limit. It’s indicated to step away from the news, tune into yourself through meditation or some other self-care practice, take a hike. Get distance from it. Have fun. Taking care of yourself is essential, and we need to find the balance. Life is good, and we can’t forget that. We can step away from the news and still be conscious people with strong moral imperatives. As is so often the case, it’s about finding the balance. 

5. Compassion Practice:

   I learned from Jack Jornfield to send compassion to combat corruption. I’ve found it to be an effective way to feel empowered while staying committed to my values of nonviolence. In Buddhism, metta is a practice of loving kindness and it helps elicit internal peace and spaciousness. Try reciting phrases to those in power like, “May you be free from hatred. I wish for you freedom from delusion. Feel freedom from greed. May you be free from fear.” 

This is a significant time in our history as a country and as a species. We are expanding, and that doesn’t always come easy. Change occurs over time. I encourage patience and fortitude. I honor every woman who has been brave and bold in her sharing her story and exposing her truth.

For more support, reach out! I’m here to help, talk, discuss, and uplift.