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Dr. Rachel

Clinical Psychologist

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October 22, 2019

Free Empowered Manifestation Masterclass

Filed Under: Spirit and Consciousness

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I Help You Heal Your Relationship To Yourself & Others #traumainformed
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Relationship problems all boil down to attachment

Relationship problems all boil down to attachment needs. Feeling loved is synonymous with survival. ⁣
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It makes sense that the stakes feel so high in these dynamics! ⁣
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Fear of loss of connection is an expression of a need to be safe and close to each other.⁣
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Insecure attachment started in childhood.⁣
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Intrusive caretaking in childhood elicits avoidance in adulthood. ⁣
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Neglectful caretaking elicits anxiety in adulthood. ⁣
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Both were misattunements. ⁣
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Negative reactions to a partner are a desperate attempt to cope with attachment fears.⁣
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When you start to actually honor your feelings instead of repress, deny, and avoid them, you open space for reconnection and repair.⁣
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This honest expression and emotional responsiveness to each other creates security & restores connection.⁣
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In secure connections, there is comfort with emotional closeness and a moving towards it. You create it through talking about how you feel & holding space to hear each other. ⁣
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You feel confident your person will be there for you when you need them.
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You seek and give support without hesitation. ⁣
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You offer each other comfort through loving touch & caring gestures.
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You take each other’s needs seriously instead of downplaying or dismissing them. ⁣
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In conflict you seek solutions and aim for reconnection by assuming the best of them even if you’re hurt. ⁣
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You’re open to new perspectives & enjoy challenging ideas from a curious stance.⁣
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If you have a history of attachment trauma, these will be strides you take as you practice relating more securely. ⁣
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As you practice, stay kind to yourself as you go.

Be open to what you feel and need, and understand the deep organic underpinnings.

Explore the barriers to your own vulnerable expression.⁣
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🧐What helps you feel safe with people? What happens for you when you don't? Where do you lack security in your relationship to yourself? How can you respond to that fear in a way that soothes it?⁣
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If you're stuck in a painful relationship pattern and want help healing, join me for 6-months of life-changing work. 🤗🔥👑

My upcoming live immersion starts next Tues! Flash sale through Sunday - DM me “WHOLENESS” if interested xo

Self-connection is how & where to start. ⁣ ⁣ T

Self-connection is how & where to start. ⁣
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The negative things we went through as children weren't our fault.

They weren't even the fault of our caretakers and communities. ⁣
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We were treated how they were treated. ⁣
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Our experience of loss of connection was their experience of loss of connection.⁣
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We inherited it the same ways they did.⁣
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Unless we do the self-connection work to interrupt the pattern, we'll just be perpetuating trauma. ⁣
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Good thing that's not your true nature. ⁣
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Seeing our patterns with clear eyes and open hearts is how we change them. ⁣
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Transformational change only happens when we're open and willing to be with ourselves.

An exploratory stance takes us far. ⁣
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We can get space from the fears our inner-child and inner-adolescent has. ⁣
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We can see these patterns were inherited before we were even verbal! ⁣
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We make it less personal while taking radical responsibility for the ways it lives on through us. ⁣
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For no other reason than to enrich our lives and our relationships. ⁣
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Because without connection we are not living life alive.

Depression, anxiety, anger.. these all stem from very early relational ruptures that we continue to project onto our present. ⁣
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Which makes sense if we haven't tasked ourselves to learn the tools we need to recover our own deep truth. ⁣
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Showing up for another requires us to know how to show up for ourselves.

Being responsible to care for another requires us to be able to hold our feelings maturely. ⁣
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To regulate enough to meet another in the deepest places they need us to.

To repair what went wrong then in how we choose to love ourselves and each other in the power we have now.⁣
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Your choice to change *is* the transformation.⁣
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Want my help? 😬👑 I’ve got you.

LINK IN BIO to join me for 6-transformative months of healing work. 🔥

DM w/ any Q's! We start next Tues!⁣

Unmet needs in relationships can feel so hard to n

Unmet needs in relationships can feel so hard to navigate. Particularly because the origins run SO DEEP. ⁣
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When we're not careful and conscious, we'll relive our childhood wounding expecting the needs we didn't have met then will never be. ⁣
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And we choose partners who reinforce this unconscious belief! We choose them so we can heal the belief as we opt to give ourselves a new experience of connection.⁣
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But unless we commit to the inner work it takes, we will project our wounds onto our partners, assuming the worst in them instead of the best. ⁣
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Struggling to trust them instead of trusting the trustworthy parts. ⁣
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Re-enacting our oldest and most primal wounds. ⁣
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Fearing rejection. ⁣
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Fearing we aren't heard, seen, known. ⁣
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Getting defensive. Shutting down & pushing out. Yelling and blaming. Grasping and forcing.⁣
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Sound familiar? ⁣
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The core wound will personalize this. The mind's tendency is to make meaning through illusory assumptions.

The unconscious mind's condition is to project the past onto the present to keep us safe from it happening again. ⁣
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Paradoxically, the projection is the very thing that creates what it's attempting to protect us from.⁣
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The answer is in flexing a new attitudinal muscle.

Learning to love yourself and the wounded parts of you that have been hidden.

Seeing shame for what it is & honoring it without believing its stories.⁣
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Healing through these edges of relationship. Healing as a lifepath. Healing as a gift. Healing as your privileged practice.⁣
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Need help healing? I'm here. We go live for a 6-month immersion next Tues and enrollment is winding down! Link in bio for details. Inbox is open for DM's with Q's. ⁣
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It gets better & easier & more beautiful, I promise. xo ⁣

We operate in relationships based on what we saw o

We operate in relationships based on what we saw our primary caretakers do. We received imprints of how to react, show up, give, close, yell, avoid, run, fight, express, shut down, lash out.
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Until we take honest self-inventory... we will continue to replay patterns in our adulthoods that were never ours to begin with. ⁣
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Self-trust is the medicine. ⁣
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Learning how to trust yourself, life, others, the process... this is the practice. ⁣
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Self-trust lives through the decisions we make. The ways we treat ourselves. The people we allow close. The responses we choose. ⁣
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The beliefs we let live on through us. How willing we are to challenge the ones we carry that do not support our desires. ⁣
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Self-trust comes through how deeply we listen. How kind we are to what we hear. How open we are to changing.⁣
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Self-trust is when we ground in our bodies. We open our hearts. We let something bigger than us be true. ⁣
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Self-trust happens when we open to support. When we know what we need and we ask for it to be met.⁣
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Self-trust happens when we commit to transcending patterns we inherited that don't fit. ⁣
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We learn to trust ourselves when we stay curious about who we really are. We learn to trust ourselves when we choose compassion over criticism. ⁣
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When we stop suggesting to ourselves that poor treatment is commonplace and obvious.⁣
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We trust ourselves when we seriously consider our part in dynamics that are dysfunctional for us. ⁣
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Your attachment needs matter. Your romantic desires are true. The ways you've learned to meet them are, until you heal, not true. ⁣
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If you know you need help with this, join us for the 2022 6-month immersion of Healing Back To Wholeness. It's going to be a deep dive into self-trust beyond... get ready for serious transformation. Link in bio w/ deets. ⁣🤍🤍🤍

With such unconscious ease, we project our pains o

With such unconscious ease, we project our pains onto others. ⁣
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We fantasize about other people making them out to be more than they've proven themselves to be. ⁣
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We turn others into monsters believing they are worse than they've proven themselves to be.⁣
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The mind sets us up to use others as objects for which we can dump our stuff, strengthen our beliefs, preserve our fantasy, release ourselves from responsibility...⁣
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When we use mindfulness AND heartfulness to see the propensity of our unconscious... we free ourselves from illusions. We stop making other people wrong & bad, right & good, better or worse...⁣
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We choose to see what's true for ourselves in all of the places.. and we open our hearts to stop making other people who can't meet our needs wrong or bad. ⁣
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We know WE are responsible for meeting our own needs now. We can be skillful in how we invite others to meet us. We make requests from an honest & open heart.

We hold space for err without abandoning ourselves in the process. ⁣
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We honor the delicacy of our inner landscapes. We stay curious about what comes up in our vast inner ecosystem. ⁣
We stop projecting our shit onto each other by being radically responsible for what we feel, need, and desire. ⁣
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We hold our healing in our own hands and we receive love and care from those who have shown up to offer it. ⁣
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We stop betraying ourselves by hanging onto something that isn't real. We devote ourselves to knowing what we need by taking inventory daily. ⁣
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We love ourselves with a gentle ferocity by being responsible for what we feel without making ourselves or anyone else wrong.⁣
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We trust each moment of experience and we meet ourselves over & over & over again.⁣
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It's not about them. It's about what in them has triggered what in you.⁣
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That's where I want you to spend your time.⁣
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If you want my support, I'm here for you. HBTW starts on 2/8 & enrollment is open! Link in bio for deets. DM w/ Q's. xo

And practice mindfulness & embodiment.⁣ ⁣ Bein

And practice mindfulness & embodiment.⁣
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Being aware of what’s present helps open your eyes to Truth.⁣
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It eliminates distortions. It holds space for what’s here without defensiveness against it.⁣
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It provides more safety & recognition of reality sans the illusion that trauma from an anxious attachment wound can create.

Be in your body more.⁣
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Put your relaxed attention in your body.

Intend to create a safe home in your body.

Love your body, express yourself through your body. Breathe. Dance.

Walk. Run. Move! Rest. Be still.⁣
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Go within and hang out there long enough to listen, hear, & understand.⁣
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The practices are honestly simple.

The work is big. It's possible.

It's beautiful.

And you can do it and deserve to.

The more you do, the more you open yourself to your own freedom. Joy. Peace. Enrichment. Happiness. & relationship health ❤️
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I'm here for you through it.

If you need more support, we do a lot of inner child healing, self-soothing, emotional regulation in HBTW- join me & your community for 6 month starting 2/8.

Link in bio for details! 🤍🤍🤍

*this post referenced heteronormative dynamics & honors / holds space for the spectrum of identifications across gender, sexuality, & relational dynamics*

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Copyright © 2024 · ✨ The Numinous Path Acknowledges that our work takes place on the traditional lands of the Chochenyo Ohlone First Nations. We acknowledge that sovereignty was never ceded. ✨ Dr. Rachel Greenberg. All rights reserved.