Ask Me Anything with Dr. Rachel
QUESTION:
Hey Dr. Rachel,
How can I better discern when I act out of fear vs a place of holding boundaries?
ANSWER:
Acting out of fear and having boundaries are both strategies for protection. The difference is one is habitual and impulsive and the other is intentional and conscious.
Holding your boundaries may feel scary to a young part of you that doesn’t trust it’s safe yet to assert them.
When you embody your boundaries intentionally after considering what they are (through identifying your needs), it will feel empowering and relieving when you assert them.
You’ll also feel more self-trusting whereas when you act out of fear you’ll feel that less.
Acting out of fear may or may not have anything to do with holding boundaries.
So start to notice your own stress response – when are you acting from a place of fight/flight/freeze/please?
This is coming from fear. Setting healthy boundaries comes from an understanding of your own needs, so explore what those are and where they feel unmet.
Then take inventory of what kinds of boundaries (limits) you can set to better take care of yourself. Feel the difference?
In Permission To Be Powerful, we cover embodying boundaries at length.
I share my 3-step Boundary Blueprint which is:
1. Be your own best ally
2. Base your limits on your needs
3. Better relationships have balanced boundaries
Permission To Be Powerful is A LIVE 2-month program to help you let go of self-doubt, trust your decisions & feel confident about who you truly are in 60 days so you can create high-caliber relationships, careers, & life experiences and get back to your true, whole self. Ready to Be Empowered to Create High-Caliber Relationships, Careers, & Life Experiences and Get Back to Your True, Whole Self?
You may know me as @heydrrachel on Instagram.
I’m a Clinical Psychologist, Empowerment Guide, and the CEO & Founder of The Numinous Path™, my Psycho-Spiritual Practice for Whole Self Healing and Transformation. I support deep, ambitious, and awakening people all over the world at all different points along their path who are ready to break free from limiting beliefs learn how to heal hurt feelings from the past & embody Authentic Congruence so they can be empowered to create their desired life by living from their hearts.
With over 5,000+ clinical hours, 2 master’s degrees and a Doctorate, I’ve created a deep and transformational approach to healing and empowerment so you can heal unhelpful patterns & Declare that You Deserve the BEST from Relationships and Life Overall. I have over a decade of experience growing a successful career and over 20 years studying psychology. My work is influenced by my own series of spiritual awakenings, trauma healing, and self-discovery.
I’ve studied with some of the top leaders in the fields of Non-Violent Communication, Insight Meditation & Buddhist Psychology, Trauma-Informed Manifestation, Embodiment Practice, and Tantric Buddhism. If you want to work with me privately you can find that information here.
